"at 11:30 he's so funny,...it's nice to have you on the show tonight,...when guests are boring he fills up the slack,...the network always breaks his back" As you're probably aware, Conan O'Brien (a genuinly good guy by all accounts) will be replacing Jay Leno's hour of Monica Lewinsky jokes. Good for Conan, well deserved replacing that egotistical, jerk-off stiff. The Tonight Show is an exclusive club, Steve Allen (never a fan of his), Jack Parr (I'm too young to rember him hosting but have seen clips and he was really good), Johnny (the best of all late night, no, all T.V. hosts), Jay (good writers, bad interviewer, career kiss ass), now Conan. I've been a fan of Conan's since Day 1, saw the first show, the writing was edgy, thought he was charmingly awkward, felt the Max Weinberg Seven was the best late night band that I had heard (sorry Doc, sorry Paul) and thought Andy Richter was a snarkier, more charismatic sideman than the legendary king of second bannanas, Ed McMahon.
My whole problem with this is that my all time favorite is Letterman. Been watching since, well, forever. Should have been handed the Tonight Show on a platter, but had enemies at NBC. He is the best interviewer of all time. Period. There is a reason why Crispin Glover, Madonna and recently Joaquin Pheonix had their pre-rehearsed (w/o Dave's knowledge) and highly publicised meltdowns on Dave's show and not Regis's, Arsenio's, Magic Johnson's, Johnny's, Rachel Ray's, Jimmy Kimmel's, Carson Daly's, Ellen's, Jon Stewart's, Craig Fergison's, Merv's, Mike Douglas's
or especially Jay's shows. Jay would have gone to commercial, wet his pants, fired a staffer and by the end of the break the troublesome guest would be gone without a mention. Dave has the balls. His taking on Bill O'Reilly, Cher and many other bloated celebrities is legendary. My favorite of all time is from about 20 years ago, Marilyn vos Savant, the syndicated advice writer for the low-rent Parade Magazine insert that comes in Sunday paper comics/advertising sections. Guinness Book has her listed as the woman with the highest I.Q. Dave gave her space, but as the very conceited vos Savant dug a deeper hole for herself, Dave took her to task. As I recall, the interview ended with Dave saying something like "You may be the world's smartest woman, I'm just a doofus, but why did I just get done sweeping the floor with you?" just before going to commercial. Dave is best when backed into a corner.
Dave is also the most sincere. His tributes to regulars Paul Newman, Calvert DeForest (Larry "Bud" Melman) and his thoughts on Sept. 11, on the first show after the attacks, are pure class. I've never heard more succinct eulogies for any of these situations.
Now the quandary. During frequent bouts of insomnia my lineup for 16 years has been Dave then, if I could manage, Conan. I hope Conan doesn't cave in to corporate pressure and pussify his writers into making Conan more Tonight Show friendly. I know the "Masturbating Bear" is already gone, from watching the brilliant last week of Conan on Late Nite. He's not used much anymore, but please don't kill off Robert Smigel's hillarious "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog". For the love of Christ, don't become over produced and slick like the way the douche bags that totally fucked up the Tonight Show fucked it up. I hope even corporate dick licker Leno didn't like it. Shit, maybe he did. Got higher ratings than Letterman. Go figure. The American public, American Idol worshipers have no taste.
Dave is also the most sincere. His tributes to regulars Paul Newman, Calvert DeForest (Larry "Bud" Melman) and his thoughts on Sept. 11, on the first show after the attacks, are pure class. I've never heard more succinct eulogies for any of these situations.
Now the quandary. During frequent bouts of insomnia my lineup for 16 years has been Dave then, if I could manage, Conan. I hope Conan doesn't cave in to corporate pressure and pussify his writers into making Conan more Tonight Show friendly. I know the "Masturbating Bear" is already gone, from watching the brilliant last week of Conan on Late Nite. He's not used much anymore, but please don't kill off Robert Smigel's hillarious "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog". For the love of Christ, don't become over produced and slick like the way the douche bags that totally fucked up the Tonight Show fucked it up. I hope even corporate dick licker Leno didn't like it. Shit, maybe he did. Got higher ratings than Letterman. Go figure. The American public, American Idol worshipers have no taste.
Bottom line: It's a tough choice but I know Dave will continue to be edgy, irreverant, grumpy and in your face. I hope they bring Andy Richter back for the Tonight Show and Conan will continue to have bawdy, politically-incorrect comedic filler bits. If they monkey with the formula too much, Dave gets the nod, until retirement, which I selfishly hope never happens. Dave, after all, you are the king of late night. Maybe I'll get a job that starts at 5:00AM and bag the whole thing, maybe I'll call it a day on the networks and switch to the humoursly talented Steven Colbert. Shit. I don't have cable. I didn't mean those last comments. I love you NBC. And CBS. Just in case ABC. And Fox. Please don't cut me off with the digital transition on June 12th, please. I beg of you. I am your humble servant.
