"The Tale of Two Ford Mavericks"

"laugh about it, shout about it, when you've got to choose, any way you look at it you lose"

Children, lets gather round to hear Libations and Medications, "The Tale of Two Ford Mavericks". One was an old Maverick from Arizona. Arizona is very hot. He spent too much time in the hot sun and his paint job was peeling. There is a big race every four years. This Maverick wanted to win the big race very, very much. Sometimes this made the Maverick very mad and he would blow a head gasket. The old Ford needed another Maverick to run the race with him. Who could he choose? I know, lets have a newer model Maverick from Alaska race with us! Alaska is very cold. The cold caused this Maverick's engine to sputter when asked important questions. The old Maverick didn't seem to mind. The newer Maverick was outfitted with shiny new accessories for the big race. In the big race the Mavericks were racing against a brand new shiny black Pontiac. Many people wanted the Pontiac to win. The Mavericks did not! This caused the Mavericks to continually run off the race track and blow smoke from their exhausts. The Pontiac always stayed on the race track. The Pontiac won the big race! In the end the newer Maverick said she wanted to try to win the big race against the Pontiac in another four years. The old Maverick was towed to a scrapyard where he spent the rest of his days.

The End.

God Only Knows

"the only one that could ever reach me was the son of a preacher man"

Through my exhaustive investigative research, I have uncovered a video that will be leaked by the McCain camp just days before the election, a rare look into the ministry of the Reverend Jeramiah Wright.

The Simpsons

"lying out there like a killer in the sun"

Brentwood, Al Cowlings, white Ford Bronco, slow speed chase, Alan Dershowitz, Robert Shapiro, Barry Scheck, Robert Kardashian, Gerald Uelmen, F. Lee Bailey, Johnny Cochran, Christopher Darden, Marcia Clark, Mark Fuhrman, 'Kato' Kaelin, McDonalds, Hertz convention, DNA evidence, "ugly ass Bruno Magli shoes", "if it doesn't fit you must acquit", racial division, "now I can find the real killers", civil trial, Hiesman trophy, If I Did It, sports memorabilia dealers, Las Vegas armed robbery and kidnapping, Fred Goldman, Ron Goldman, Nicole Brown Simpson. The Juice is not on the loose, they're finally putting this world class creep behind bars for good. He felt as if he was above the law. We're all aware of that priviledge being reserved only for the current White House administration. Let's never hear from this egotistical media whore again. No prison interviews, no books, no autograph deals to be signed from behind bars. Just have his circus fade away. For O.J. to be forgotten would be his biggest punishment.

Seven Words You Can Say on Pay Television 1

I know George Carlin didn't support any political wonks and didn't believe in our political system. I just think this video is a poignant matching of images to Mr. Carlin's words. This was assembled by a Ron Paul supporter without Carlin's consent.

Seven Words You Can Say on Pay Television 2

"I remember doing nothing on the night Sinatra died, and the night Jeff Buckley died, and the night Kurt Cobain died, and the night John Lennon died, I remember I stayed up to watch the news with everyone"



You could add George Carlin to this Badly Drawn Boy lyric. It's a shame that on the network eulogies "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" was regarded as his claim to fame. Sure, the bit was funny and infamous, but Carlin was so much more than that. As he aged his wit became sharper. For the last 5 years his routines weren't even that funny anymore. They were just biting, scathing attacks on society aimed with pinpoint accuracy. Late in his career audiences didn't go to laugh, they went to hear a wise man pontificate truths as to why your life is so fucked up. He was more philosophical than Bertrand Russell, more cosmic than Lenny Bruce and funnier than Richard Pryor. Lewis Black, you have big shoes to fill.

A friend of mine, Bob, worked as a chauffeur years ago and had driven George Carlin to a book signing. He was thrilled to report that he was very courteous, friendly, conversant and had referred to Bob often by using his first name. After arriving he thanked Bob for the conversation and without request, pulled out a book and wrote a personal notation, signed it and handed it to him.

By all accounts the man was genuine.